Raindrops and roses, everything purple sounds royally good to me....

menyampah

2009-08-02T21:19:00.002+08:00

lelaki, tak boleh tahan, mereka kata lelaki tak faham apa yang kita tengah fikir, tapi, lelaki juga sangat mengelirukan kadang kala. Masak untuk mereka pun tak berterima kasih langsung , nak makan daging selalu, tak boleh ke kalau makan lebih banyak sayur-sayuran dai masa ke masa?
Menyampah dan buat saya marah aje. Tak faham langsung, pasal masak sup, dah sedikit terlambat nak pergi tonton wayang, apa yang lelaki menyampah buat? tunjuk muka masam, macamlah salah saya aje. Ish, biasanya tak tolong buat kerja rumah, saya dah tak marah, habis, bila suruh tolong sikit, dia ada macam-macam alasan.
Yang paling menyampah ialah bila saya dah marah, dia pura-pura tidur lah, tengok televisyen lah. ARGH, macam mana boleh ada anak dengan lelaki sebegini? marah betul.............

my mum

2009-06-30T22:08:00.002+08:00

Last week at home has been quite a worrying experience. Mum seems to be losing more weight and not really her usual self, she used to be cheerful, upbeat and optimistic. However, she has been steadily displaying signs of depression and losing hope to me. She don't really do the housework or cook anymore, she spents her time playing on bunny boy's nintendo and watching drama serial on C's lappie.
It's not like her at all. She used to be busy in the kitchen preparing various foods for us when we go back last time or she spends her time gardening and bringing us out for shopping trips. All of us are vexed and worried because no matter how we persuade her to seek treatment or at least go for health screening, she refuses. I know that she's worried about troubling us, but we are her children, it is our duty to care for her. Sigh, will someone please tell me how i can persuade her to let us perform our duty by her? I can't imagine life without andi DON"T want to imagine life without her......

home....

2009-06-21T20:08:00.002+08:00

Boy oh boy, i'm so excited cause i'll be going home to see mummy and the rest of the gang tomorrow. However, i'm quite concern about the damn H1N1 going around, i pray all will be alright as i don't want to be quarantined after returning here. Hopefully nothing goes wrong.
I'm already thinking about treating mummy to a nice seafood dinner. Can't wait to see bunny boy and 2 lil sisters. I also want to go to Old Town for some nice snacks and good tea with milk. Yum yum....
Next weekend let's hope everyone's cooperative as i want to bring them all to Batam for a 1 day trip. Maybe do some shopping, lots of eating, maybe grocery shopping too as i know mummy will definitely enjoy that. Cheers to the beginning of a great week.....

my favorite song from the 80s

2009-06-21T20:01:00.002+08:00

Erasure

A Little Respect

I try to discover

A little something to make me sweeter

Oh baby refrain from breaking my heart

I'm so in love with you

I'll be forever blue

That you give me no reason

Why you're making me work so hard

That you give me no

Soul, I hear you calling

Oh baby please give a little respect to me

And if I should falter

Would you open your arms out to me

We can make love not war

And live at peace with our hearts

I'm so in love with you

I'll be forever blue

What religion or reason

Could drive a man to forsake his lover

Don't you tell me no

Soul, I hear you calling

Oh baby please give a little respect to me

I'm so in love with you

I'll be forever blue

That you give me no reason

Why you're making me work so hard

That you give me no

Soul, I hear you calling

Oh baby please give a little respect to me

Soul, I hear you calling

Oh baby please give a little respect to me

picnic.....

2009-05-30T15:40:00.002+08:00

Feeling real good today cause i went for a picnic with peeps from my department, although only

one third of the peeps turn up, it was still good fun and everyone enjoyed themselves. One thing

i find funny though, why some people wear formal clothes for a outdoor activity under the hot

sun is beyond my comprehension. At first glance, i thought the office lady got lost amidst our

group, little did i know that the same "office lady" is actually my colleague. Oh dear... my eyes

really popped out when i saw her, i think... lolz.

Still, it was real fun and i hope the next outing will see us at east coast instead, maybe a

barbecue, chalet or even roughing it out camping at the seaside. Hopefully no kids though, so

difficult to move around with the little tykes attached. No offense to all the parents out there...

aDvAnCe diPLoMa

2009-05-22T22:18:00.002+08:00

I went for my advance diploma nursing sponsorship interview today. I think i did pretty well and have suitably impressed the 3 interviewers.

Problem is, i was told by my managers that due to my lack of years of servive to the department, i might NOT be offered the sponsorship after all. Boy, that really sucks.

I was informed that Madam will try to help me to get some funds so that i can go for this course. Now i'm praying really hard that she can find the funds needed.

I'm very passionate towards my job now because i know what is expected from me and i really want to be able to contribute to the department.

I can see my future here and this is saying a lot as i have been unsure of what my career pathway is like for the longest time.

My manager and i have discussed my current estimated potential and i am happy to know that we have the same vision and focus point when it comes to my future.

I am extremely grateful towards one and all who has been helping me along my job here in my current department. I hope everyone will pray with me that i am able to continue my wonderful journey in this field that has given me much sense of satisfaction, pride in my work and room for creativity to grow.

food

2009-05-20T20:39:00.003+08:00

Weekend is coming again soon. It's definitely my favourite time of the week, who

doesn't like weekend. This is the time when i get to rest, laze around the house and try out

recipes too complicated for weekdays.

Hmm, i'm thinking what should i cook this weekend, past two weekends, i've tried cooking prawn

noodles, laksa and mee rebus.

Oh well, hubby wants to have braised meat with eggs and tau pok

this weekend. Sounds like a good idea to me, at least the leftovers can be kept in the fridge and

tastes better after heating up. Not only that, it's a very simple dish to make, so, i will only need

to stir fry some vegetables to go along with it.

Yay! another great idea for weekend fun.

chicken soup

2009-05-19T20:50:00.002+08:00

I was feeling kind of low yesterday. Hubby offered to make me some chicken soup (well, i prepared the ingredients) he just cooked it, but still, it's the thoughts that count. He stayed up till early this morning to cook the soup for me and also packed it for me to bring to work. I'm so touched because he did all this while i was sleeping. Well, i know i'm a lucky woman to have such a good and caring husband, and i wish all women out there to be as happy as i am.
However, sometimes, having a caring husband means that i get teased a lot by my colleagues. Everytime i bring homecooked food to work, everyone of them will ask me if hubby cooked the food, and if i said i cooked it myself, no one believes me. I get that a lot, so, after awhile, i get used to all their teasing.
Whatever it is, i hope hubby will continue to make good food that's envy worthy for me. And i will continue to be the luckiest girl ever.....

Bunny boy

2009-05-03T20:20:00.002+08:00

I just came back from mum's home. I had a great time as usual. Read a few books, rolled on the floor and sofa with the bunny boy who was stuck on his nintendo DS. There was lots of nagging as usual, from mum, dad and ah heng. Nagging for bunny boy to study, nagging for bunny boy to go shower and temper tantrums from ah heng. So normal, but sometimes, it kind of gets on one's nerves.
Sigh, i was wondering if i should go home more and maybe it won't be so bad. But i don't like confrontations or nagging, i'm more of a happy-go-lucky person. I'm not very good at all this. It was unnerving to think that my family chooses to live this way.
Sometimes, i can't help it but think whether if one of us older siblings is at home more, maybe there will be less nagging and temper tantrums. I guess that's why there a saying, you don't know how it feels like to be a mum until you are a mum yourself. I can understand why hubby swears that he will never behave like his own dad. It's either you be like how your parents are or you behave the total opposite.
Hmmm.... well, on a lighter note, i love going home no matter what. All the good food, the relaxing mood and bonding time with mum and bunny boy. Although i got a bit worried when i saw that mum's been losing quite a lot of weight, but if she's healthy, that's all that matters, i could use with some weight lost myself. lol.....

2009-04-24T22:13:00.003+08:00

I'm currently in a confused and complicated state. Part of me don't want be a mother EVER, but part of me is being sensible and knows that having a baby is kind of my responsibility as a wife.
I'm still telling friends and family that i'm not ready yet, but at the same time, i can feel my biological clock ticking. If it was up to me, i think, most probably i don't want to be a mother at all. Alas, i'm still a wife, and an only son's wife at that, so, i feel kind of responsible to at least try to have 1 child before i can officially tell people to bugger off.
It's not that i don't like kids, in fact, i love playing with other peoples babies. I mean, who can resist pairs of big brown eyes, toothless smiles and bucketful of drools?
It's just that i worry extremely i guess. I worry that i won't be ready financially, mentally and physically. I'm afraid i won't be a good mother, i worry about the state of the world now and i worry about the violence that's happening everyday. I get paranoid thinking what happens if i have a child who is unhealthy due to my genes or abnormal or sickly.
I know i worry unnecessarily, it's all undue, but we can't all be perfect right?
So, i will take my time to prepare myself and hopefully one day, i can be ready to hold a new life in my arms.... regardless of how bad the world becomes...

marley and me...

2009-03-23T22:23:00.003+08:00

I've just finish reading the book Marley and Me by John Grogan. It's been a very good read and as an ex-pet owner, i felt deeply for all that was in the book. Reading the book has brought back loads of memories of Pixie, my baobei. I can't help it but shed tears freely even when i'm in the bus or MRT. Even though it's been so long now that pixie has left me, i still miss her a lot and still don't dare to have a pet again, no matter how cute they are. I'm just not ready for the inevitable separation that looms 10 plus years down the road, it's difficult for me to just remember the good memories and not feel sad. When i read the book, it feels as though a part of me that have been supressed for so long is set free like a river dam meant to flow to the sea. The good thing is, i can now talk about Pixie without tearing up. I sometimes share anecdotes of her with my colleagues and they somehow cannot believe how well and how much i loved Pixie.

Well, i strongly recommend this book especially if you are looking for a good, fun and tear jerking read . On another note, i've been reading so much books lately that i feel that my eyes are constantly feeling tired and blurry. For once, too much reading is not a good idea. LOLz.

Another thing that i'm looking forward to is my birthday this friday. I just want to have a good time with friends and hubby dear. Here's to all my wishes coming true.......

2009-01-12T00:21:00.004+08:00

S.H.O.P.P.I.N.G

- A girl can never have too many clothes

-It doesn't matter how expensive the shoes costs, it's how good it looks on your feet that matters

-Do not go shopping with your boyfriend or you will end up buying nothing

-Life is like shopping, you never know what good bargains you can find

-When the shops offers discount, don't be fooled by it, it's just a ploy to make you part with your money

-By shopping, you are doing a good deed by contributing to the economy

-Who needs chocolate or sex when you can go shopping

-To men, 6 monthly shopping is already a torture, to women 6 week without shopping is a punishment from hell

-You know it's time to stop shopping when:

+ Your boyfriend/husband is crying
+ Your cards are dying
+ You can't feel your feet and hands due to fatigue
+ The shop's lights are off

-Most of all, no matter what happens, I, for one will continue shopping for as long as the sun shines...

hOmE

2008-11-30T22:55:00.002+08:00

Just came back from hometown today...

It was fun as usual, especially because my favourite sister is home too...

We are all growing up so fast and time seems to fly by, i wish mum would come over more frequently, i know she's not getting any younger, that's why she doesn't want to travel so far, but i can't help but hope and wish that she is here more often.

Didi is full of mischief as usual, he's growing up too fast and quite handsome too. LOL

Well, i'm sure glad we decided to have the little project today, wish i was there to see jie's reaction. Hmmm, wonder if she'll laugh at us or cry in gratitude.

I miss da jie so much, can't wait for her to come back and have a good get together. There's so many things that all of us wants to tell her and show her.

Hubby annoyed me just now, but it's such a small matter that i really shouldn't think about it anymore, it just goes to show that women are such sensitive creatures. Sigh...

Anyways, should think about where to go for my next holiday, will give the road trip idea a great deal of thoughts. There's s much to do but so little time, no drive or motivation, and that part sucks the most....

Holidays, Here I Come!!! Wait for Me!!!

Why me?

2008-11-16T21:48:00.004+08:00

Sigh, Another sad entry today. I'm going back to work tomorrow after a long weekend, can't say that i am looking forward to it as the wound on my hip is still raw. Everyday when hubby changes the dressing for me, i get so depress because i don't see any healing taking place.
At times, i really hate my body, why is it so difficult to heal from a wound? Worse, why must i have a keloid to go along with it? It's a horrible reminder of how i get the wounds in the first place. Dammit...
Now, i'm seriously thinking whether i should get pregnant or not? Will i get a horrible scar if i have a ceasarean section? Can i give birth naturally since i have a fractured tailbone? So many questions unanswered.
For now, i don't want to think about all that, i just want to get well soon and please please don't leave me with a bad scar again. WTF.....

what ifs

2008-11-15T21:54:00.000+08:00

I'm still trying to get over losing my beloved baobei Pixie. Sometimes, i still think about the what ifs... what if i had not gone out that day, what if she had waited for me to come home, what if i had noticed the signs and symptoms earlier, what if hubby had not gone for camp, so many what ifs going through my mind at times...

It's been nearly 2 years since pixie left me, till now, i don't think i want to go through the loss again. Nobody should have gone through what i went through. It's been said that time heals all wounds... I believe that, but the pain that one has to go through during the healing process is so great that no words can describe it.

Till now, whenever i see another mini schnauzer, i want to look away so that i wont be reminded of what i have lost. It feels like i have not gone through the 5 steps of grieving process yet:
-Denial
-Anger
-Bargaining
-Depression
-Acceptance

I know that she is gone forever. It's just that it's so easy to see her here with me on the couch, with her head nudging my hand to pat her, carry her and having her sleep on her favourite spot-between hubby and me on the bed. She was so lovable and so clever that you can't help it but love her. I wonder where she is now, i want to believe that she is with other dog angels and is frolicking in the happy place where they all go to after they leave earth.

This entry has not been entirely for Pixie though, it is also for the little one that i would like to think would have been Seth.... To both of you, i would always remember and love you both deeply.